Dear blog!

it wasn't supposed to be this way,

me with a stark white fragile screen, worms of intoxicated minutes

all squishing, crawling, sobbing

never this way without shades of last morning,

that lasted forever,

even now,

miniature suns flickering under a powerful and tyrannical laughter of a mute moon

that last morning

that lasted forever, tastes

of wine and apple pie,,

across geology of segregated past,

even now,

warm sweet aroma streaking through, bright and shining,

on altars I bowed

whenever i celebrated death, of you, of me, of every brain that felt tumults of a faraway heart

every rationality that trembled before feeble beats of stumped heart 

watching you sleep wistfully,

death of every human that could have been 

human, without past,

all those death, the tribute is cheap,

just a single bottle of wine

that's all worthy of an offering to unnatural deaths

and coffee, and cream, and pie.

But you see, sweetheart i'm broke

to the last loan, sorry sweetheart I'm parched to last drop

of alcohol in my veins, I can't give you any more sweet hallucinations of

two kids wading through glamorous destitution,

a single suicide, and a beautiful betrayal,

no more of those dreamy graves.

Tributes running short,

call the priest soon, priest of green herbs, priest of brewed hungry generation

summon all those priests, make them real,

my last breath is dying,

I WANT TO HEAR THE FINAL SONG,

Playlist

All parched now, of possibilities of millions better future

better than what you fucktards will provide,

all satiated and finally

holy, free, vipassana

vipassana at ultimate moment of chaos

vipassana in very womb of desire

free from spanish doors and shiva's india

it all sounds same as silence, all that psychedelic noise, same as 

silence after first murder.

lamentation of my fictional oath is not yet over

tandava is incomplete

dancing to your limited, microcosmic, insignificant tunes,

even beethoven is a lie,

fuck this shit baby,

i remember you smiling to zombies,

hordes in a playlist and we slept peace fully in their kingdom,

my demons, softhearted discouraged masks 

afraid of more chillums and where in deep abyss of murky honesty will herb will take them,

hearts evaporating (its bad, as bad as fate, bear with it

as you always had, with fate)

it'll give you something deliriously beautiful in the end

perfect waltz to dance to, perfect peg, perfect fucking patricides,

don't deny it, i know i wanted it, to walk down the perfect hall

of rolling stones and led zeppelin and pink floyd and jefferson airplanes and

 my last life, jim morrison

 we look alike with the mane, smoke hazing birthgap of decades, 

father i want to kill you

across hazy decades finally, across first whiff of opium free decades,

we'll laugh and surrender and head will have no remorse,

both copying other, salutations to future,

greeting to past,

unholy, unholy, unholy.

please,

perfect end of a regularly

perfect drama.